Whats a great name for my croquet mallet?

So my group of friends and I have started playing ultimate croquet; a twist of the rules of croquet with much more challenging shots in tougher environments. We decided it was a very gentleman-like game, so we always dress in nice polo's, slacks, shorts, and whatnot. It makes us take it more serious. Don't think I forgot that we have to puff cigars to play ha ha. I've risen to be one of the best in the group. I'm always finding myself on the podium after every match. I got to thinking that it's time to name my trusty mallet with a great name. So give me all sorts of ideas, quirky, corny, raunchy, or just plain funny that somehow relate to croquet. Anything goes so it's much appreciated. Also everybody keep in mind: Cro Before Hos ;)